Thinking about visiting Miami Beach? Here are a few tips to help you when you come down here.

Myself being a 15 year resident of the beach so over and over again tourist coming down and over spending money and just not knowing what to do. By looking at my Vitae here on the site you can see that I am experienced in the in's and out's of this little hamlet we call Miami Beach. Please note these are all my opinions and will vary from others.

Miami is NOT Miami Beach. We are two different towns separated by an intercostal. So if you go to Hotels.com and get a cheap hotel on 163rd street in Miami, get ready to spend a lot of money on Uber.
You do not need to rent a car when you are here. Renting a car is futile, unless you plan on shopping at the big outlet malls in the area there is no reason to rent a car. There is plenty of Uber and Lyft drivers.
Our public transportation sucks.
AirBNB is taking over and I recommend that if you don't care about a pool and going to the Ocean alot that you should use that. If not, the smaller boutique hotels on Collins are quaint but offer few amenities.
The ocean is always to your east. If you are lost, ask which way is the ocean.
This city is a grid. Pretty easy to get around. It goes from 1st to 23rd (north to south) and east to west it goes Ocean Dr, Washington Ave, Drexel, Pennsylvania, Euclid, Meridian, Jefferson, Michigan, Lenox, Alton, West Ave, and Bay Road.
Culturally there is not much to do down here. So prepare yourself to beach, drink, dinner, drink, pass out.
There are only three place north of 5th street on Ocean Drive that I would recommend going to....Front Porch (close to 15th), Madero (just north of 14th) and Palace (at 12th street). Everything else on Ocean is mediocre. Actually ask any local and they will tell you that Ocean Drive is a tourist trap, don't let the two-for-one offers fool you, those drinks are $65.
Lincoln Road is awesome. Spend an afternoon strolling there.
Which beach should you go to? (Huh?) Yea, different areas of the beach have different types of people. Between 12th and 15th streets is Gay Beach. Around 10th street is Hip Hop Beach (kinda trashy) 3rd street is Brazilian Beach (one of my favorites). And way down on 1st street is where locals go.
Do not over spend on coffee. You would be shocked at how good you can get a cuban coffee and for how cheap. My favorites are Charlotte Bakery on 15th and Washington and this little cafeteria just south of 12th on Washington.
On Friday's, I love the happy hour at Smith & Wolensky at 5pm cause you can watch the cruise ships go by outside.
If you are adverse to smoke you may not like this town. We smoke everywhere, including some elevators. If you get tipsy and think you are going to smoke buy a pack. Locals get miffed when you ask them.
We have a lot of homeless people. Ignore them. They have trained themselves to make you feel uncomfortable. They sleep on the beach at night, have showers when they wake up and have plenty of gullible tourists to give them money.
Where to eat part one: Sandwicherie on 14th west of Collins, Drunken Dragon, Duraku on Lincoln (awesome happy hour), Prime Italian or Prime Steak (if you can get in), Grill Fish on Espanola, Madero on Ocean, 27 at Broken Shaker. BTW don't even look for good Cuban food, it exists just not on the beach.
Best burger Cheeseburger Baby (open late).
Best tacos Peppers at 1234 Washington.
Best hot dog Five Guys on 15th and Washington (open late).
Best fried chicken...little place on Washington just south of 14th. (remember the ocean is always east.)
Cheapest liquor store is Total Wine & Spirits at Alton and 5th.
Favorite local market Art Deco Market on Washington and Espanola.
Espanola Way. This one little block is so adorable you have to see it. I love the Mexican Restaurant on the corner, Tapas & Tintos on the Drexel St side, and the big Italian place (be warned this place is pricey). The best Italian place is Osteria del Teatro on the north east corner of Espanola and Washington.
Fun thing to do before dinner. Check out the drag show at Palace on 12th and Ocean. Everyday at 7pm. They also have a great brunch.
Best breakfast is the Front Porch on Ocean Drive.

More to come.